(Originally
appeared in the July 1, 2004 edition of the Century City News)
“I didn’t plan to wind up
here. How can I take back control of my
life?”
Most of us wind up where we are because we are swept along
by day to day events, responding to what’s right in front of us, what’s hot,
what’s urgent. We’re reactive. It’s instinctive to live in the short term
and fight fires all day long: meet the
client’s deadline, make the house payment, get dinner on the table… You’re great at treading water, but it’s
unlikely that you’ll ever make it across the pool.
So how do you take back control? You
need a plan—a blueprint to follow that shows you how to move forward.
Imagine you are building a house based solely on whim and
what attracts your eye. With no
blueprint to follow, you’d likely wind up with three swimming pools, a Jacuzzi
and no bathrooms.
Building your life is far more challenging and infinitely
more important. Your time is
limited. Your energy is finite. The demands on you are enormous: work, finances, family and then…when do you
find time to go to the gym, hang with a friend, take in a Dodger’s game,
sleep? Since, (as far as we know) this
is the only life you get, are you willing to leave it to chance?
Here’s how you create a plan. The first thing you need to do is lift your
head above the everyday fray and take a good look at here—this moment, as you sit reading this column—and there—the life you want to be living.
Start by interviewing yourself. Ask the following:
Q:“Self, what are the areas of my life that
I’m satisfied with?”
Your answer might be something like
this:
A: “Thanks for asking. Well, I make a good income, live in a house I love
and like the people I work with. I’m
well-regarded professionally and stimulated by my work. I have two wonderful
(if challenging) kids.”
Q:“Self, what areas would I like to change?”
A: “I’m spending too much time at work and rarely see my friends. I’m
not even sure my work is meaningful. I’m
30 pounds overweight and feel tired. I don’t have time for a relationship in my
life and I’m kind of lonely.”
Q: What are the things in life that are most
important to me?
A:
“Having free time, being
financially secure, raising happy kids, being healthy, making a difference in
my community.”
Feeling super self-aware?
OKAY, HERE’S YOUR HOMEWORK:
Keeping in mind where you are starting from and what you value, paint a
word picture of the life you want to live.
Find a quiet space and take ten minutes to write a description of the
life you’d like to build. Think broadly:
Where would you live? Who would the people in your life be? How would you spend your free time? Think professional life. Think relationships. Think physical
environment. Think finances. Think
recreation and fun. Think spirituality. Think self-development. Think health
and fitness.
Once you have finished this assignment, pat yourself on the
back and have a piece of chocolate. You
have completed the first step in writing a plan to take back control of your
life.
We want to hear from you and know that you want to hear what
others have to say, so please e-mail us your word picture. We will include snippets in next month’s
column.
Roberta Lachman and
Julie Grass are partners in The Momentum Group.
They help people achieve success through coaching, Momentum Groups and
workshops. Contact them at
Info@TheMomentumGroup.biz.
